Hello eveyone, it’s satan the cat again!
I thought i’d pop on and write another blog before my pre-dinner nap and let you all know that i’ve been told i MUST stay here and guard the house while Pixie and Rich go to Egypt!
I found out that they weren’t going to Turkey so don’t really mind! I’ve heard that the Egyptians are rather fond of cats but it’s going to be way too hot at this time of year and my black fur and I can’t handle too much heat, so while there away scuba diving i’ll be here with the lovely lady who lives next door for company.
She’s such a nice lady and remembers to brush me before i have my breakfast, lunch, dinner and midnight feast unlike Pixie who only brushes me before my breakfast!
I’ll kick up a fuss though and ignore Pixie and Rich when they start packing their bags and ignore them both again when they arrive home to make them think i’m not happy staying here with the lady next door, it’d only upset them if they thought i won’t miss them!
Anyway enough of me now and i’ll tell you what Pixie has been up to this week with her Hippy Gift Shop.
So far i’ve been thrown off her lap 4 times in a fit of excitement as she’s gained another 4 Todays Best Awards for these items in her shop
She’s also been updating her ‘about me and my art and photography’ squidoo lens that you can see here Squidoo lens – about me and my art It features a rather attractive picture of myself too so i’m quite happy about that.
I’m off for my nap now and am going to start practicing my sulking impressions in time for when they go away!
You remember I recently said that I had see on TV that dogs sometimes take their humans on holiday and that I am going to persuade Pixie and Rich to let me take them on holiday.
Well, it did not work out as I expected… They have decided to go on holiday but they are NOT taking me with them!
They said it is something to do with going on an aeroplane and going scuba diving when they get there… well, they are certainly right in thinking that I would certainly not want to go on an aeroplane (if cats were meant to fly they would have wings, or a pilot’s license) and as for diving….well, that means water and everyone knows that cats hate water.
Except, of course, for Turkish Van Cats – but then water is probably nice and warm in Turkey. Hang on a minute…Pixie and Rich are flying to their destination, so maybe they are going to Turkey. In which case, why aren’t they taking me?
I shall have to have words (after my nap, of course).
in the meantime heres a few new items from pixies Hippy Gift Shop
Hi It’s me again, Satan the cat. I had to write again and tell you about what’s been happening around here.
I was watching TV with Pixie the other evening between my after-dinner nap and my before-going-to-bed nap and saw a wonderful little programme presented by creatures called meercats.
They were called Aleksandr and Sergei and are such brilliant salesmen that Pixie phoned in for a car insurance quotation even though she doesn’t drive.
It was a very short programme, but was by far the best thing on TV that evening. However, it did set me thinking….
Now, I am all in favour of animals getting starring roles on TV and these guys have real talent – they even speak human (which, frankly, cats never bother to do – although we could, of course, if we wanted to).
No, my problem is that some idiot has decided to call them meercats.
Whoever did this really should know that:
a) They are not cats at all
b) The words ‘mere’ and ‘cats’ must never be used together.
There are lots of other names they could have chosen that would have been more suitable, such as ‘not quite as good as cats’ or ‘really brilliant, but cats are still best’.
Also, why have these talented animals had to resort to making TV adverts? They should have a show of their own. How about “Really brilliant, but cats are still best live at the Apollo” or “Almost as good as cats den”. (For a different species, I suppose we could have Gnus at Ten? – just a thought).
Anyway, all this led me to thinking that animals (really intelligent ones like cats and ‘not quite as good as cats’) can play a major role in advertising. So I am going to help Pixie with her advertising campaigns for a while. Obviously, she will do the writing because she doesn’t know that I can type (with all 4 feet!), but you know how it is that we cats can transmit ideas to our humans, so that is what I will do.
Mere cats, indeed!
Let me introduce myself – I am Pixie’s cat. She called me Satan (without asking me) and now I am stuck with it. My mistake, really – I should NOT have started to answer to it. But I was only a little kitten at the time and now it is too late to change it to a proper cat name like Tiddles or Sooty (either would do because I am black and have been known to have the occasional accident on the furniture).
Anyway, I hear that Pixie has been blogging and tweeting or something. When I hear something tweet I usually eat it, but this seems to be something different – and inedible. As far as I can tell, she has been telling everyone what a mess her kitchen is and how she’s been sitting next to her microwave oven thats taken up residence on her sofa. This is stupid – even cats know that sofas are for sitting on (preferably with a lap underneath and microwaves are for cooking salmon for cats.
She is absolutely right about the mess, though, but she has been so busy telling everyone how inconvenient it has been for her and her husband (Rich) that she has completely forgotten about the most important person in this – namely ME!
Now, as my staff, Pixie and Rich ought to know that I am the most important person around, yet they have completely forgotten about how all this has inconvenienced me.
So I’ve just managed to get to her computer while she’s not looking and have hacked in to her blog to get my point accross, (For some reason humans can use a keyboard with their front legs but cats can’t – I don’t understand why, when we are far more intelligent, so i’m wondering around the keyboard with all 4 paws and just hope i am pressing the right buttons so you humans understand what its like to be a cat).
One morning, without any warning at all, Pixie and Rich started to dismantle the kitchen (with much banging and swearing). This disturbed my early morning nap. However, I was even more disturbed a little while later when I decided to wander around my estate – they had taken my cat flap away! My own, personal cat flap! Imagine the indignity of a fine and mature cat, in her absolute prime, having to make a graceful exit through a hole in the brickwork. Fortunately, none of the neighbours were watching, so no harm was done to my reputation except for a bit of brick dust on my back which I got Pixie to brush off when I returned home for my late morning nap.
I thought that I had them sufficiently well trained to install a brand new state-of-the-art cat flap without delay, but here we are weeks later with nothing more elegant than a ragged hole in the bricks. It is a good job that I am a cat with great patience – a lesser animal would have been off by now!
The rest of the kitchen is no better. Rubble everywhere, and Pixie still sitting next to the microwave. Rich has gone back to the comfort of an oil rig in the middle of the Sea and the new kitchen doesn’t seem to have even left the factory yet. Unbelievable! I must go and have a lie down. I will write again soon, so watch this space.